The Shooting
by onetruelove23
Summary: Okay, I'm not great at writing long-term stories (I speed through lots of things because I hate not having conflict. It's my biggest flaw in writing). Let it be known that I am just posting this for the benefit and enjoyment that anyone can take out of it and know full well of the many ways it could be improved. :) Characters are not mine.
1. Chapter 1

It had been two weeks since I had seen anyone from the precinct. My bed had become my new best friend, and a tendency of me laying in it for hours at a time during the day had developed. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything or talk to anyone after Jane's funeral, so now I had become a recluse who cried at all hours. My phone rang nonstop for a few days, and after determining that I'd never answer any of the calls from Angela, Frost, or Korsak, I just ended up turning it off and putting it inside my purse. All day long, I just sit and relive the day that changed everything. The day that ruined my life. The day that Jane killed herself.

_"Jane!" I heard my voice echoing down the front steps of the precinct as I rushed toward the scene unfolding before my eyes. A gun shot sounded, and I knew Jane had been hit. Oh please, let it not be a serious injury. I rush to my beautiful best friend's side, kneeling in the pool of her blood that had quickly formed and putting pressure on her wound. "Jane...Jane, stay with me. Jane, look at me...Look at me, Jane." I use on hand to make Jane's face point towards mine, trying to cause her gaze to focus into my eyes. It works. A small and hoarse croak comes out of her. _

_ "I love you, Maura..." With that, her eyes roll back in her head. I cry out, shaking her to attempt to bring her back._

_ "NO, Jane, COME BACK!" The paramedics force me off of her, carrying her into the ambulance. They refuse me the right to ride with her since I am not her next of kin, so I get into my Prius and speed off after them._

_ My hands are shaking, my heart racing, and all I can hope is that my Jane is okay. There's so much I haven't gotten to tell her...I never got to tell her what she means to me...I kick myself for not having realized that she needs to know my feelings for her before now...and how they are not exclusively platonic._

_ "I love you, Maura..." Her last words play over and over in my mind. Maybe she knew that I felt that way and was trying to give me some solace in knowing she felt the same way...Now I may never know, she may never come back. I pray that this is not the case, running into the E.R. where Jane's family is. Angela is crying, talking to one of the many doctors in the room. From the look on her face, to the mood in the room, I know what the news was. No, no, no...I run back outside and around the back of the building, bending over at the waist and vomiting miserably on the ground. I realize those four simple words that Jane told me were the last she'd ever speak on this earth, the last she'd ever speak to me. I'd never hear her laugh again, nor see her smile, nor feel her loving touch. I close my eyes, trying to make sense of this all, but I fail completely, just succeeding in making more tears cascade down my face. My life will never be the same without Jane._

I sadly rub the tears off of my cheeks that come once more after another mental reenactment of this dreadful occurrence. With my face buried into my pillow, I long for the comfort of the one I love: _Jane._ She was the only person whom I would let comfort me in states like this, and now that she's gone, there's no one left.

Just when the pain inside becomes almost unbearable, I hear a knock at the door. Since I know that all of Jane's family members and coworkers who would care to check up on me would still be at work right now, I go to answer it. Through my peephole, I see two suited men each holding up an FBI badge. I'm immediately frightened, but regardless, I open the door.

"Hello, Dr. Maura Isles?" One of the men asks as they both lower their badges.

"Yes...How may I help you?" I try to mask the weakness in my voice but only somewhat succeed.

"We're Special Agents Little and Martin. We need you to come with us, ma'am. You are not under arrest nor in trouble, we just need to conduct a meeting."

I stand there for a second, blindsided, but then my senses return. "Alright...I'll just take a moment to get ready..." I go wash my face, pull my hair back into a ponytail, and dress in black yoga pants and a loose fitting and breathable blue top that has three quarter length sleeves. I also grab my black trench coat, and I timidly follow the Special Agents out to their unmarked, climbing into the back as per their orders and letting them take me to a secret rendezvous point. They get so far from my house that I don't even know where we are anymore, and I tense up tremendously.

Suddenly, the car pulls down a dirt road that leads to a large building, which, even though it is night time, has about twenty FBI cars around it. I am so confused that my brain cannot even function, and it doubles when the man lets me out and escorts me towards the door.

"What you are about to see is classified information. Your disclosure of said information can result in your arresting and sentencing to life in prison. Do you understand, Dr. Isles?" I look at him and nod my head wearily. My hands shake, and I don't understand what is going on around me.

"She was a stubborn one, alright, that's the only reason this is happening." _Is he talking about me? How was I stubborn? _Suddenly, they open the front door into the building that resembles a house, and inside I see a sight that confuses me to no end.

Inside, sitting on the couch between two agents and looking perfectly well except for being paler, is my best friend, Jane Rizzoli.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jane..." My voice is basically inaudible, but it causes Jane to look up at me. She smiles brightly in the way she used to, and that's how I realize it truly is her. Tears are the first thing to come, followed by my feet running towards her. She stands and rushes to me as well, pulling me tightly into her arms. My sobs are the only sound to be heard, my body wracking as I cling to her for dear life. She holds me tightly to her, stroking my hair gently and supporting basically all of my weight.

"Ja-Jane...I thought you were dead..." My voice is an awe-filled whisper, and I'm sure only she can hear it as I bury my head into her neck. My lip quivers, and my body shakes uncontrollably.

"Oh Maura...It's okay, sweetheart...The FBI had to keep the fact that I survived a secret, or else the precinct would've been attacked again, and I couldn't let that happen...I'm so sorry that I couldn't have told you sooner, Maura. It breaks my heart to see you like this." She runs her hand up and down my back, kissing my temple, head, and forehead over and over. Some of her own tears fall onto my cheeks and mix with mine. The agents stand and leave the room to give us some privacy, but we don't even notice. I've been so broken these past weeks, and it's finally coming to fruition.

"Jane...Oh I'm so glad you're okay...I have felt so horrible these past few weeks because I had so many things I needed to tell you...that I thought I never would have the opportunity to say..." I sob once more, and she guides me to the couch that she had been sitting on. She sits down, holding both of her arms around me with my head buried into her chest.

"Well, we have all the time in the world now...Tell me what's been bothering you, sweetie."

"Jane...I realized, when I thought you were dead, that I would never get the opportunity to tell you...how I feel about you." My heart stops. _How she feels about me? Is this what I've been waiting for since I met this beautiful woman?_

"I...I love you, Jane...More than I should love my best friend. I love you more than I've loved any other person before...Even those whom I was romantically involved with. I have never felt more right around anyone else...I mean, you know I can't let anyone else close to me..." She looks down at her hands that are knotted in her lap, but I still maintain my grip around her shoulders with both of my arms. I am the one who begins to shake with sobs now, but these are of happiness. Maura immediately misreads it, standing up and pulling away from me. "Oh shit, I've screwed everything up. I'll have the agents take me home before I let my fucking mouth run." She turns and starts to rush out of the room, but I'm too fast for her. I catch her by the arm, pulling her back to me.

"Maur...Don't be ridiculous. I've been in love with you since I met you...I'm crying because this is so surreal. I never thought I'd hear you say those words. Ever."

She opens her mouth to say something, but just then the special agents rush back in. One of them speaks. "Sorry to interrupt, but we need to relocate asap. There's been sightings of Marino's men from here all the way to Beacon Hill."

"Beacon Hill? Maura lives there." I step protectively in front of Maura, and I feel her hand find its place in mine behind my back. I squeeze it tightly, trying to show my refusal to let her go especially with my latest discovery.

"She'll have to relocate with us, then. We expect to find the men within a month, though." The special agents start to pack up, but Maura speaks, stopping them.

"But wait...If I go with you guys, then Angela and everyone at the station will freak out and file a missing persons report on me. I don't want them to have to go through that." She looks very sad and guilty at the thought of having anyone worry about her.

I turn to look her straight in the eyes, trying to get my point across. "Maura...You have to come with us or else _you_ could be hurt. I do not want to risk that. We'll be back before you know it, and then they'll all know that we're okay, alright honey?" I stroke her cheek gently with my hand.

She nods weakly. "Alright." The men then escort us out of the building and into the unmarked suburban that is parked directly outside the door. Maura and I both get in the back seat, and she settles down in her familiar location close beside me, leaning into me with my arm around her shoulder just as she would before the incident. I hold both of her hands with my free one, feeling her body start to calm down in our new position. The agents say it will be hours before we arrive at the safe house, so I pull Maura even closer as we fall into a deep sleep, the first we've both had since I shot myself.

I wake up before Maura does. I can't help but run my fingers through her hair since her head is lying on my lap, allowing her steady breathing to sooth my spirit. It's now early morning, and the sun has finally risen over the horizon. Trees surround us on all sides, and there is no sign of civilization. The FBI agent informed us we are staying in a cabin used to house top officials from Massachusetts, so we could expect greatness. I'm excited simply because I get to be back with my best friend, not because of the house.

_Oh Maura._ I continue to stroke her hair lovingly. She's in such a deep sleep that it does not even wake her. I could tell last night when I saw her that she had lost weight even since I saw her at the precinct and that she looked completely unwell. _She must not have been eating or sleeping for these two whole weeks...Oh gosh, Maura. _I cannot resist, leaning down gently to plant a small kiss on her cheek, holding it for a few moments. I realize that now the possibility of a relationship is on the table and that I might be able to kiss Maura whenever and wherever I want. My heart is warmed as I press another kiss to the top of her head, which finally causes her to stir from her sleep.

She looks up at me as her eyelids flutter open, a look of confusion on her face before a smile replaces it. "Oh...Jane..." She sits up while stretching slightly, then hugging me close to her. Her voice is incredibly soft and quiet. "Our first sleepover in a month just happened in the back of an FBI vehicle...Isn't that something..." Her eyes are still lazily trying to blink their way open. "Where are we?"

"No idea..." I push her hair behind her ear, enjoying the fact that I have her here with me, though I realize I cannot ignore the things that need to be addressed. "Maura, how long has it been since you had a good meal and slept the right amount of time?" I cup my hand around her cheek and look into her eyes with both concern and love, trying not to sound accusatory but instead helpful. It's weird for me to be put in the position of worrying about her health instead of her worrying about mine.

Her eyes instinctively look down at her hands, showing that she knows she hasn't been taking care of herself at all. "I-I don't know." The sadness in her voice is overwhelming.

"Sweetie..." I know Maura has never liked showing any type of affection in front of other people, but since there is a black, opaque, and sound-proof barrier between the back seat and the front, I don't feel bad when I turn my body completely toward her and put my hands on both sides of her face. "Listen to me...When we get to the safe house, you're going to be eating, drinking, and resting regularly...I need my best friend to be in tip top shape." I smile to lighten the mood, leaning in and kissing her cheek in a friendly way.

"Jane..." I look into her eyes to show her I'm listening. "About what we said to each other...What's going to happen between us now?" She looks uneasy, afraid of what I'm going to say.

I push both of my hands through her hair and down to her neck, cupping them right below her hairline. Pulling her closer to me, I whisper just loud enough for her to hear me. "Maura Dorothea Isles, nothing would make me happier than for you to become my girlfriend. The rest of the decision is up to you."

Without a second thought, Maura throws her arms around me, pulling me to where we are body to body, and I am now pressed against the car door. "Jane...I love you so much...I'm not going to waste the time we have together on just being friends. I made that mistake once and almost lost you as a result. I'm not going to make the same mistake again." Just as the words get out of her mouth, my lips are pressed to hers. We hold onto each other so tightly and fiercely as if we both believe we're slipping from each other's grasp. We're desperate in our need for one another's companionship. I cannot believe we didn't put two and two together sooner.

"I love you too, Maura."


	3. Chapter 3

The suburban stops at the bottom of a path, and Agent Martin tells us we will be escorted to the top by another set of Agents who are standing nearby. We thank them and get out of the car. Maura has to help me somewhat because of the pain from my gunshot wound, but I'm soon standing straight up with my arm around her waist as we set off for the cabin.

Maura's first question for the Agents is totally predictable as we trudge up the hill. "Will I get to wear any of my former clothes?"

Agent Barker is the one to reply to this, since she is the first woman agent we've seen. "You can tell me what it is you'd like, and I'll make sure it is delivered here. You too, Detective Rizzoli." Maura is elated, to say the least.

We get to the top of the hill, and the word "extraordinary" doesn't describe the cabin adequately. Maura is gasping beside me, reaching for my hand and squeezing it tightly.

"Oh Jane...We get to live here a whole month?" I nod and smile at her enthusiasm. She's always able to let great things make her happy no matter what the circumstances are.

The Cabin is set up on a hill right above a waterfall which connects to a large pond. The cabin extends around the majority of the pond with screened porches and spare bedrooms. Once we cross the threshold inside, I cannot help but gasp too. In the center of the open-concept first floor is a pool and hot tub area, inside given that it is winter. The kitchen is huge with dark cabinets and granite counter tops, connecting to the living room that has a large, red sectional couch and a 70 inch screen TV. A pool table is on the far side of the swimming area, along with a dining room, bathroom, and stairs to the next floor. Maura gently takes my hand and leads me upstairs, leaving the Agents behind. We see many different bedrooms around us, but Maura's eyes are set on the Master. She opens the door to see a California-king sized bed and TV along with a Jacuzzi bathtub connected to a Bay window overlooking the entire property. In the actual bathroom, there is another tub and a shower built for two and vanity with double sinks. All in all: It's heaven.

"Oh _Jane._" Maura finally stops gawking at the Jacuzzi tub-window combo and looks back at me, walking towards me slowly. "We get this place all to ourselves for an entire month?" She's right in front of me now, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling closer to me. I wrap mine around her hips and press my lips firmly to her forehead, temple, and then the top of her head.

"Sure do, sweetie." Maura giggles.

"Sweetie, huh?" Now she just bursts out laughing.

"What? I thought you'd like terms of endearment or whatever." I feel completely embarrassed, so I push away from her, going over to the bedroom door to leave.

"Jane! No wait, don't leave!" She runs over to the door and presses it close, pulling herself back into my arms. "I love hearing you call me anything: Maura, sweetie, whatever...But more importantly, I'm loving the fact that I can call you _mine._" She stands on her tip toes so that we are looking each other in the eye and kisses my lips softly for the second time today. I knot one of my hands in her hair and push her closer to me gently, not wanting anything to come between us. Still, I know I have to break to respond:

"So, Poindexter it is, then." I duck just as the slap I expected comes down on my arm. I cannot help but laugh, though, and Maura does the same.

"Well, I know exactly what I'm going to call you..." Maura trails off as she heads toward the door, looking adorable as always.

"And what would that be?" I ask out of sheer curiosity, praying it's not 'Roley-Poley-Rizzoli.'

"_My love_." And with that, she walks out, going downstairs to get some food and leaving me speechless at the wonderful woman whom I can simply call _mine._

Though the cabin is spectacular, Jane is worried that we won't have enough to do in the month that we have to spend here. Anytime doing anything with Jane is amazing for me since just yesterday I thought her to be dead, so I am fine with simply being in her presence, honestly.

I wake up in the master bed expecting to reach over and find Jane just a few feet away from me, and when that isn't the case, I cannot help but get disappointed. _She must not have been gone for long or else I would have woken up._ I crawl out of the bed, changing from my night gown into a brown button-up blouse, jeans, and boots and heading down stairs to find Jane. For some reason that I cannot place, I get a little anxious, feeling my body temperature drop and my body starting to shake. My medical background leads me to think these to be the precursors of a panic attack, similar to the one I had after the shooting. _Maura, pull yourself together. She probably just got up to get water or something._ I rush down the stairs and onto the main floor, checking every room but finding no sign of her. My pulse quickens, and I break out in a cold sweat. My breath seems harder to harder to catch, and I cannot help the scream that comes out of me as I collapse onto the floor.

"_JANE!"_

_ "Maura, Maura, sweetheart...Wake up...It's just a bad dream..._Sweetie..." I immediately jerk away, hearing the voice of the one I had been long searching for.

"Jane!" She is sitting beside where I'm laying on the bed, so I sit up and crawl into her lap without hesitation. I feel tears that had been coming down my face before I awoke that I didn't notice, and more continue to flow.

She leans back against the headboard so that I can be more fully in her lap as I continue to shake and sob hysterically. _That was basically the same nightmare I've had every time I've tried to sleep for the past two weeks...Jane being gone and not being able to find her. _Jane's hand strokes my hair lovingly, her lips resting on the top of my head. "Maura...It's alright...Whatever the dream was, it's not real. It can't hurt you anymore."

"But you're wrong." I sob out and hiccup slightly, burying my face into her chest before continuing. "Ever since I thought you died, I've kept having this same nightmare. No matter where it's set, it's always the same: I cannot find you no matter how hard I look." Another sob. "No matter what therapeutic methods I try, I still can't fix whatever is _wrong _with me." Before even thinking about it, the words that I've been thinking this entire time finally come forward. "I'm broken, Jane, and I cannot be fixed." I pull away from her and immediately stand up, still sobbing as I head over to the outfits that had been purchased for me, shoving them one by one into a duffel bag that rests on a nearby chair.

"Woahwoahwoah!" Jane gets up instantly and dashes over to me, trying to make me turn to her. "What's going on?" Her voice is broken on the second question. "You're leaving me?!" My heart aches when she says this, but I know this must be done.

"I shouldn't make you try to fix my problems when you have your own to deal with...I'll just go back home and try to _salvage_ myself." I wipe my tears away, pulling out a pair of dark jeans, a teal tank top, and a black leather coat with matching boots and changing in the bathroom.

When I come back out, roughly ten minutes have passed. Jane is just sitting on the bed, looking straight at me. She's dressed in her jeans, a white v-neck, and her black trench coat. She stands up, pulling her hair into a ponytail while looking at the ground. "You're not going anywhere without me." She has packed up her things as well and put both of our bags by the door. She walks slowly towards me until she's standing right in front of me, face to face. She whispers softly, trying to calm me down even more. "There's no way that I'm letting you go this soon after getting you back...You're _mine,_ remember?" She cracks a grin at the end to cheer me up, and it does. I smile, nod, and laugh sadly, realizing this declaration of love won't fix all of our problems, but it is definitely fixing some of my insecurities. I was silly to think that she would let me leave.

Jane takes my hand with one hand and picks up our luggage with the other. "Then let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

The hardest part of leaving was finding a car. We didn't want to inform the agents that we didn't care about their actions to keep us safe, but we finally had to in order to get back home. They lent us an unmarked to drive back to Boston, sternly warning us to stay in Beacon Hill and not to inform anyone where we were, since I am believed to be dead and Maura missing. They told us our supplies would be provided by an agent and that Angela already moved in with Frankie. They hope Maura can go back to work after we get settled in, though my location will have to remain a secret.

After we finally reach Beacon Hill and get into Maura's house, exhausted is not enough of a describer for me. "Maurrrra, this place is a mess." I say it in a kidding way, but she takes it serious.

"Well, Jane, I've been utterly depressed for two whole weeks. I had no incentive to clean myself or anything around me. I was far too upset to-" I reassure her that I was kidding with a kiss on the cheek, which in turn sparks something else inside her. "Speaking of depression, I have a great idea for something fun we could do..." A smirk illuminates her face as she steps over to the stereo."

"Noo, Maura. Not Karaoke." I groan loudly.

"No, of course not. You know I cannot sing. I want to dance, Jane.." I hate to tell her no because of how happy she looks, but I truly am tired.

"Well..." I sit down on the couch. "How about I watch for a bit first. I'm really tired."

"Of course...I mainly need to get my endorphins flowing, which I can do on my own. Plus I am a marvelous dancer." She says it as a fact, not as boasting.

"Really, Doctor? You have me intrigued." I motion for her to speed up. "Go on, then."

She smiles at me lovingly, turning on the song "Night Fever" by the Bee Gees. Right when the words start, Maura is swinging her hips with the beat, feeling out the song before starting to dance. Her back is to me, and needless to say, I'm already enjoying the show.

_ Listen to the ground:_  
_ There is movement all around._  
_ There is something goin down_  
_ And I can feel it._

_ On the waves of the air,_  
_ There is dancin out there._  
_ If it's somethin we can share,_  
_ We can steal it._

I know the next lyric, so I sing softly to myself, causing Maura to look at me and smile while she gets more and more into the groove, body rolling from side to side with her hands above her head.

_ And that sweet city woman,_  
_ She moves through the light,_  
_ Controlling my mind and my soul._  
_ When you reach out for me_  
_ Yeah, and the feelin is bright,_

_Then I get night fever, night fever._  
_ We know how to do it._  
_ Gimme that night fever, night fever._  
_ We know how to show it._

During the entire chorus, Maura pops her shoulders back and forth with one hand on her stomach and the other above her shoulder, then switching to the other side. I can honestly say she is somehow sexy and adorable all at once. I smile in a dorky manner until she spins around, tossing her hair over her shoulder and leaning back, throwing her arms up into the air and just moving with the music in the most simplest of ways. _Yet it's so enticing. _Now I'm just sitting there, enthralled by her beauty. This reaction causes her to go change the song.

"Now that I'm warmed up..." She smirks cutely at me, putting on a song that I don't recognize. It has a killer beat, though, and I recognize the singer as Timbaland.

"Really, Maura...Timbaland?" I frown at her.

"Oh, trust me...You won't be frowning when I'm done with this song." She winks slyly, turning around a few times while thinking through her dance moves and waiting for the part of the song she wants to dance during.

Maura does something truly shocking as she rotates her hips around seductively, starting to sing along with the female vocalist. "_Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me. If we go and touch, you can still touch my love, it's free. We can work without the perks just you and me. Thug it out 'til we get it right." _Then she throws her hair back, strutting like she's on a cat walk to where she's right in front of me to continue. "_Baby if you strip, you can get a tip_  
_'Cause I like you just the way you are."_ On the word way, she drops it down low, coming back up slowly while arching her back. _I didn't even know she realized that people danced like this...How the hell is SHE doing it?_ She senses my confusion, and it makes her laugh out loud: literally, though she continues to dance. " I _don't need the G's or the car keys. Girl I like you just the way you are. Let me see you strip, you can get a tip_  
_'Cause I like, I like, I like..."_ I notice her saying 'girl' instead of 'boy', and my heart swells. _THE Maura Isles is singing to ME. I'm going to have to tell Frankie, Frost, and Tommy the next time that I see them that I got the girl that they have crushed on for years. See how they handle that..._

Once she finishes twisting her body and dropping it low with incredible grace and eloquence for such club-like moves, she changes the song once more, except this time, the song is much slower. I immediately recognize Gavin Degraw singing "More Than Anyone," and I think about how much I love this song. She turns around to look at me, slowly walking right toward me with a romantic look on her face, though she still is very shy when she speaks.

"Jane...May I have this dance?" My throat goes dry, and I try to swallow to help it, but nothing will. I nod, taking the hand that she has extended to me and standing up. She leads me over to the center of the room, holding my hand with hers and resting her other on my upper back. My arm glides around her waist as we slowly move back and forth to the words of the song.

_You need a friend  
I'll be around  
Don't let this end  
Before I see you again  
What can I say to convince you  
To change your mind of me?  
I'm going to love you more than anyone  
I'm going to hold you closer than before  
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free  
I'll be free for you anytime  
I'm going to love you more than anyone.._

Since both of us know the next lyrics and their meaning, we lean into each other with our foreheads resting together. I look into her eyes, searching for the reassurance that I seek from her emotionally and to see if this song resonates with her love for me as it does for my love of her. Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears, though she doesn't cry. She just holds my gaze, as if she knows that I'm trying to prove her feelings for me in that moment.

_Look in my eyes, what do you see?  
Not just the color  
Look inside of me  
Tell me all you need and I will try  
I will try  
I'm going to love you more than anyone  
I'm going to hold you closer than before  
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free  
I'll be free for you anytime  
I'm going to love you more than anyone  
Free for you, whenever you need  
We'll be free together baby  
Free together baby..._

As the song finishes out, I realize our bodies are completely pressed together in the most innocent of ways. It isn't as if we are trying to speed up our intimacy in any way, simply we just long to be as close as possible to each other. I open my eyes after savoring that moment, looking straight into her gaze that is full of love and adoration...more than I could ever fathom.

"I didn't realize you could slow dance, Jane..." She looks pleased, leaning in and kissing my lips once briefly before coming back in for a much longer, deeper kiss. In this moment of intimacy, a song by Evanescence had started to play. My inhibitions are gone, and I run my hand through her hair before cupping it around her neck. I listen to the lyrics, feeling the intense pain and heartbreak that the singer felt. I feel the suffering that I would endure if I ever lost Maura, and that causes me to pull her as close as possible to me, deepening the kiss considerably. I know she's thinking of the emotion she experienced losing me this past month. She responds with wrapping her legs around my waist and jumping into my arms. The lyrics reach their peak in emotion, and I listen to them very closely.

_ I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_  
_But though you're still with me_  
_I've been alone all along._

With the pain and sorrow that this song brings to the forefront of my brain, I use it as my drive for loving Maura while I still can and for not letting her go any time soon. I carry her into the master bedroom while she kisses me passionately, and I know she is reciprocating the very same emotion that I am as I feel her tears staining my shirt.


	5. Chapter 5

After a night of beautiful love-making with Maura, I wake up with my face in her pillow, inhaling the beautiful scent of lavender. It isn't very strong because Maura isn't in the bed anymore. I groan in a highly-disappointed manner, turning over completely onto my stomach for a few moments before slipping off of the bed. I take one of her short, silk robes out of the drawer, considering the fact that I'm as naked as the day I was born, and head out of the master bedroom without even trying to fix my wild hair.

Maura looks up from the espresso machine to see me walking into the kitchen quietly. She smiles brightly, and I'm pretty sure I know why. _Our first time being together...and it was phenomenal. _I sigh when I see that she has already dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a teal sweater that has a large scoop neck, considering that closes the door for starting on our second time together. When I reach her, she uncharacteristically pulls me around toward her, pressing me against the counter with her entire body. Our lips mesh together in a marvelous display, and after a few moments, she finally speaks. "Good morning, darling." Her arms are wrapped around my waist securely, also pushing me out of my normal place of dominance and into more of the receiving role.

"You're in an oddly-good mood today, ." I rest my hands on her neck, looking into her eyes with a large smile on my face.

"Very perceptive, Detective. It's true; I had a beautiful specimen whom I am in love with over last night...Let's just say, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Oh, and I'm also taking her to the beach today." She pulls away from the embrace to finish her espresso, pouring me a cup as well.

"Say what? What beach?"

Taking a sip from her drink first, she responds. "Carson. I hear the tides are going to be spectacular today. Plus, the crowds should be smaller since it is Monday...and I also want to have another day spent with you before I head back to work and go through all the stress of explaining where I've been for the past week. So, go shower, put on some clothes, and grab a bathing suit too." Though I wouldn't normally agree so easily, I do in this case. I realize Maura and I won't be able to do this as often for the next month unless we go today, so I hurry and go to get ready.

Once we arrive at the beach, Jane and I head immediately to the emptiest set of changing rooms we can find. We both go into the same one, and I undress first and put on my ruched, teal, and strapless bikini. I push my white sunglasses up onto my head as a headband and also slip on my white, wrap-dress cover up before turning to see Jane's exact progress in dressing. I am flabbergasted by the bathing suit I see Jane holding.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli, in the name of all things holy, you cannot wear a one-piece. You wear bikinis all the time, as you rightly should. I mean, look at your body!" I am fierce and sound angry, but Jane knows that I'm just concerned.

"Maura, it's not the same..." She looks down sheepishly, her arms crossing over her chest.

"What's not the same...?" Before I even finish asking the question, I answer it mentally. _Her scars._.. I slowly walk closer to her, not saying anything more as I analyze the expression she has on her face. I know what I have to do...I slowly get down onto my knees, not breaking eye contact with Jane as I lift up the hem of her shirt ever so slightly, just enough to expose her most recent self-inflicted wound.

"Maura..." Her voice is pained, as if she wishes I'd just leave the topic alone...I know that I have to show her what her scars truly signify...Without further hesitation, I press my lips to her scar gently, kissing over the entire span of it. I hear an audible change in her breathing patterns, and I can tell that she's crying. Once I finish, I pull her shirt back down and stand up, kissing the scars on both of her palms and then her lips.

"Jane...You have _no_ reason to be ashamed of these scars...Sure, the ways that you got them were gruesome at best, but they are just testaments to how _strong_ you are..." She looks away from me, and I just move my head to force her to look into my eyes. "My love, you're so strong, so much stronger than I could ever be...You're my rock, Jane." I kiss her forehead again. "My beautiful and amazing rock." After holding her momentarily, I turn to pull out of my bag a much more Jane-appropriate, plum-colored and also strapless bikini. Handing it over to her, I whisper softly, as if I don't want anyone else to hear. "I want to be able to show off how strong you are." This makes her giggle quietly, wiping her tears out from under her eyes and taking the bikini to change into it. I murmur my approval before we pack up our clothes into my beach bag and walk, hand in hand, out of the room and onto the beach.

Throughout the morning, Jane and I have intervals of sleeping, swimming, and her chasing me with handfuls of sand in an attempt to put it inside of my bathing suit top. Needless to say, it's been fun. I see her still in the water, swimming around absentmindedly, so a devious idea comes to mind.

"Race you back to our stuff!" I scream it and am immediately barreling down the firm part of the sand. I hear Jane scream a few profane phrases before she is running after me. She yells out to where I can hear her.

"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS, CHEATER!" I cannot help but chuckle as I continue to run, but within a few seconds I hear Jane's steps right behind mine. _Darn it...even with a head start, she's still faster than me._ I squeal loudly as I feel her hand briefly grab my bikini bottoms. I try to speed up, but to no avail. Even though we are almost back to our stuff, she still manages to snake her hands around my waist and to jerk me up into her arms. Somehow I end up over her shoulder with her tickling my abdomen relentlessly.

"Jane!" A round of laughter ensues. "Jane, put me DOWN!" I cannot stop laughing long enough to really yell at her. She just keeps doing what she's doing until she thinks I've learned my lesson. I'm panting when she finally lets me slide off of her shoulder and into her arms, my feet still not touching the ground.

"Mercy...Mercy..." I whisper while she holds me, her arms firmly supporting my entire weight with apparent ease. We make deep eye contact, the only movement from either of us being the slightly-strained rise and fall of our chests. I am looking down at her with my hair down and curling wildly from being exposed to the ocean water, and when I realize how I must look I bring my hand up to my hair and run my fingers through it, looking away briefly.

"Hey..." Jane's voice is soft and stern. "Don't mess with beauty." That makes me bust out laughing, putting my head over her shoulder and hugging her tightly.

"You're a mess, Jane." I cling to her, not letting her pull away or set me down.

"Correction: I'm your mess." I roll my eyes, pulling back to look into her eyes again as we both laugh, but something shakes us both out of our momentarily blissful moment.

I hear the voice shouting both mine and Jane's names before I see the person, and when I turn my head to look, I am stunned. There, standing in front of us and looking quite worried and confused, are Korsak and Frost.


	6. Chapter 6

"I had NO fucking choice, Korsak! The Feds wouldn't let me tell ANYONE what really happened for fear of another attack!" Jane is screaming, though it isn't that she is angry with Korsak, but more anger is toward herself and the situation. We've moved to a secluded beach hut that was deserted, and I am standing by the door out of the way while Jane, Korsak, and Frost battle it out in the center of the room.

"Oh yeah? Then how in the HELL did SHE become informed? was there with the rest of us when we were told you DIED and when we had YOUR FUNERAL!" I cringe at Barry's words, cowering more against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest insecurely. I've never seen Vince and Barry so furious, and I feel that it is all directed at me.

"The Feds had her under surveillance, Vince. Martino had guys in her neighborhood waiting to get her too. I convinced them to let her come to be with me, and the only way we could get her was for her to 'go missing.'"

I am stunned, it being the first time I had heard this. "What did you say?!" My voice sounds foreign and surprisingly angry. _Why am I upset?_ I can tell Jane has the same thought as she looks at me, her face falling from its previously defensive state and looking more heartbroken now that she is facing offense from all sides.

"Maur..." She starts, turning to face me fully to try to console me but also to have me wait until Frost and Korsak have been pacified before voicing my concerns, given their current state of irritation.

I interrupt her, grabbing my keys and bag before going out the door. "I'll leave you guys to it...Vince, if you wouldn't mind giving Jane a ride to her apartment. I assume there's no point in us hiding now." I have very obvious tears streaming my cheeks as I head out the door, and I suppose that's what makes Vince feel bad enough to honor my request. I would have asked for her to come to my place, but I didn't want to have to deal with disclosing our relationship on top of everything.

I am thankful for the long drive home while I grip the steering wheel tightly. My deeply-tinted windows and the fact that I am alone let me have no reservations about crying openly. _Everyone's going to hate me now because I didn't inform them of where Jane was...I should have said something. That's what a real friend would do.._ I sigh, another round of tears erupting. _What am I supposed to do now?! _I think of what the Rizzoli family's reaction is going to be to finding out about Jane..._Happiness that she is alive and resentment for me._ My dreams of becoming part of their family through full-disclosure of my relationship with Jane are crumbling. It's as if I'm losing my family all over again...When I get home, I don't even feel immodest walking up my front driveway in my bikini and cover-up still. I get inside, slamming the door behind me for no apparent reason and locking it along with the back door, just in case someone tries to visit. I just need to be alone right now.

I strip down and speed through a scalding shower, scrubbing off all the dirt, sand, and guilt that has trounced me within the last few hours. Dressing in a silver set of silk pajamas, I head out into the living room to do what I do best when I'm stressed: clean.

After vacuuming nonexistent pieces of dust off of my floor, wiping my counter tops until I can see my reflection in them, and picking up some stray items from my coffee table, I lay down on the couch with a warm wash cloth over my eyes, willing myself to relax. It's nighttime by now, and I hear knocking on the door after about half an hour. Knowing who it is and that I have to let her in for my benefit and hers, I respond to the second round of knocking with a simple "Use your key!"

The door unlocks, opens, and shuts again. The dropping of keys onto my entryway table, kicking off of shoes, and the sound of bare feet on my hardwood coming over towards the living area indicates that Jane is beside me. She reaches for my hand, and I can hear her kneel down beside the couch quietly. She presses her lips to my hand, stroking my palm and forearm with her fingers to show me that she is here for me and willing to wait until I'm ready to talk. With my free hand, I remove the washcloth and lay it on the back of my couch, turning to an upright position so that Jane and I are facing one another. Both of our hands intertwine naturally, and I lean forward to get a reassuring kiss from her.

I pull away, looking down at our knotted fingers. "How did it go?"

She sighs. "About as well as you'd expect...After we talked for a while, though, I think they finally got to where they understood why I did what I did." She squeezes my hands with both of hers. "They both felt really bad about what they said...Especially Frost about what he said to you. He said to tell you he was sorry."

"He doesn't need to apologize...He was right. I should have told them." I look away from her eyes and down at my lap instead. "Now your family will never accept me."

"Now hang on just a second, what does that have to do with my family not accepting you?!" She brings her hand up to my cheek, making me look back at her.

"When they find out that you're alive and that I knew and didn't tell them, they're going to hate me. They probably won't even let me be your girlfriend anymor-"

"_Let you be my girlfriend?_ Sweetheart, I wasn't _asking_ their permission to be with you. Korsak and Frost are going over to warn them tomorrow morning, we'll go back to work like normal, since the cat's out of the bag, and when we get to the point that we tell them about our relationship after things have settled a little bit, they will be THRILLED. Don't you see that? Ma will understand...She loves you too much not too. Heck, sometimes, I think she even loves you more than me or Tommy and Frankie!" Her last comment and the smile that spreads across her face cause me to smile as well. She leans in to kiss my lips once more, stroking my cheeks with her hands with our foreheads pressed together. "Now...You need to get some rest, dear. Tomorrow's going to be hell, what with all the 'We thought you were dead's and the kissing and hugging and all that crap, which you know I "enjoy" _almost_ as much as you do. I'll see you in the morning? Korsak will come get me and then you...and we'll go face the Rizzoli-music. Cavanaugh already knew about the plans, so he can tell the precinct before we arrive...now that we are out of hiding. He's also going to cancel the missing persons report on you...But, anyways, like I said, I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright..." We both stand to our feet and walk to the door. She puts her things on and grabs her keys, turning back to look at me while flipping out the collar of her coat. She smiles, wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing my lips and the top of my head gently. She starts to pull away, but I stop her, looking into her eyes and letting words flow to show how I'm with her no matter what. "I love you, Jane."

With a raise of her eyebrows at my random exchanging of such deep sentiments, she smiles and replies. "And I'm in love with you, Maura." She smiles at me before shutting the door after her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Jane, there's no reason to be nervous." Maura holds my hand tightly as we walk up the front walkway to Frankie's place. "Korsak and Frost should be telling them everything right now. Everything's going to be fine. That's what you told me last night, remember?"

"I know, I know. I'm still nervous, though. You should be too, I mean you've been missing for three weeks in their minds." She nods, squeezing my hand one last time before releasing it and raising hers to knock on the door. I take a deep breath, feeling uneasy now that Maura's hand is not gripping mine and keeping me centered.

In just a few seconds, the door is opened, revealing Frost standing with his hand on the doorknob and Korsak speaking to my entire family at the kitchen counter. Ma's back is to us, and she continues on as if no one knocked on the door.

"Vince, _don't fucking kid around with me._ I've just lost my only daughter and the woman whom I consider my daughter as well. My _heart_ is already broken enough!" With a small sob, she runs her hand over her eyes. Korsak sees us and clears his throat.

" ...Angela, please turn around." She sighs, not seeing what turning around has to do with anything, but once she does and her gaze falls upon Frost, Maura, and I, her mouth drops open.

"You're alive..." More tears flow from her eyes and her body wracks with another sob. "My babies!" She comes and swoops both Maura and me into her arms, kissing our heads and faces over and over. "I thought...I thought-"

"I know, Ma. I know...I'm so sorry..." I even feel myself getting choked up enough as my mother clings to us for dear life. She cannot even form words from all the crying when she releases us, just nodding her approval and kissing us one last time. I look at Maura: her face is red and blotchy from uncontrollable crying. Frankie and Tommy both come in for hugs from both of us. They even look emotional. Korsak is wiping tears from his eyes as we all make our way to the kitchen counter. I help Maura to sit down as well as Ma on the bar stools because they are the most shaken up right now.

Korsak is the one to start back conversation. "Jane, Cavanaugh is planning on telling all of BPD and the forensics department now. They're going to have to kick out the rookie who took your desk and that pissy old Medical Examiner."

Simultaneously, I say "Someone took my desk?!" while Maura pipes in with " ?!"

Korsak laughs. "Yeah, I didn't think either of you would take that well. They'll be gone by tomorrow, though."

Ma sniffles, blowing her nose in a tissue before finally speaking. "You two are just going to go back to work?...After all this?"

"Ma, the safest place for us to be is at the police department, since Marino's men are still out there. We're going to be more careful this time...I promise that." I stand between Maura and Ma, holding Ma's hand with mine. I feel Maura's hand coming up to rest on my shoulder, squeezing gently but soothingly. I look over my shoulder at her, smiling at the beautiful woman whom I couldn't possibly want to kiss more than in that moment...just to comfort her. I realize that this is the moment that I'm waiting for to tell the family about our relationship. _Screw waiting until things die down. I want to claim my girlfriend now._

"Ma...I also have something else to say..." I pull away from her, going around behind Maura instead.

She turns completely to look at us along with all the men in the room. "What is it, Janie?" I meet Maura's eye contact while standing with both of my hands on her shoulders. She flushes, looking down insecurely at her lap. I can sense how timid she is that the family won't accept her..._How does she think anyone could possibly not love and adore her?_

I look back up into her eyes, squinting slightly at the tears that come to surface. I realize they are just a result of joy and my overly-emotional state, but I still swipe them away. Maura's eyes glisten with them as well as I catch her gaze once more. Clearing my throat, I begin. "Maura and I realized something when we were reunited..." I look at Maura's face, which is now turned up to face me and not moving away this time. Her eyes are definitely happy because of the resulting relationship between us, but I cannot help but detect a lingering doubt there. I smile, trying to calm her as I continue in a lower and more deliberate volume. "I know that I realized that I've been in love with Maura for...for a long time." Each word becomes even more difficult to say, but I clear my throat once more before continuing. "And I'm blessed to be able to say that the good Doctor felt the same way." Maura's arm comes around my torso as she pulls me beside her, her leaning into me slightly. We're a united front, coming clean before my family and finally giving them what they deserve: the truth.

Ma makes an indescribable sound of joy and elation before jumping to her feet and enveloping us in another Mom-hug. "OH, Can this day get ANY better?" She sobs loudly, murmuring remarks of disbelief and finally having a doctor in the family.

"Maa, knock it off. I only allot you one hug a day, and I think you just used up a month's worth." She sighs before relinquishing her grasp on both of us. Maura laughs out loud, blotting tears from her eyes as relief finally floods over her face.

I reach over and hug her briefly, whispering into her ear "I told you so" before kissing her cheek gently and going to receive even more hugs and congratulations from my family and colleagues. I

t takes a long time to finally pacify everyone, and of course Ma wants us to spend the rest of the day with her, catching up on the oh-so-exciting news from the Boston Division 1 Cafe. Once we are free to go home, it is already 9 o clock, and both Maura and I are zonked. We head back to her place, both taking our showers and changing into pajamas before heading to bed.

I come out of my shower last, changing and walking into the master bedroom to see Maura curled up watching Fringe in a fuchsia, silk night-gown. She smiles at me, turning the TV off as I slide into the bed beside her. She crawls into my lap fully, giving me a kiss before curling up with her head on my chest. Our legs intertwine out of the ever-present aspiration to be closer to one another, and my arm rests comfortably around her torso.

"I feel restless...I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep for a while..." She looks up at me, and I kiss her forehead before responding.

"Why not, love?" Being so close to Maura and being alone with her causes me to feel allowed to use terms of endearment as much as I want.

"I just...I think today was very stressful on me..I'm having a hard time of relaxing."

"Well, don't worry...I'll stay up with you until you're feeling sleepy. Want to watch more TV or something? Read one of your medical examiner's journals?" I nuzzle my head into her hair, which smells like her wonderful lavender shampoo.

"Actually, Angela was telling me something today...After she told me how happy she was for us, she told me how great of a singer you are...and how you used to sing Tommy and Frankie to sleep when they were little...I was wondering...-"

"What?! She told you that? Maura, noo-"

"But Jane..." She sits up slightly and looks at me, sadness in her eyes that she uses to her advantage. "I thought you loved me?"

I roll my eyes and scoff. "UGH- Maura. You're really going to make me prove my love for you through showing how much of an awful singer I am?" She looks at me sternly, unwilling to back down. I scoff once more. "Fine. Your ears are going to BLEED though. That'll be my payback for you making me do this." She smiles brightly, settling down back into her place beside me.

"You can start whenever you are ready, Jane..." In a smaller voice, she adds. "You don't know how much this means to me..." Her heartfelt interjection gives me the bravery to sing, even though I'm out of practice and afraid of the critiques of the music-extraordinaire, Maura Isles.

I clear my throat, leaning my head on top of Maura's as it rests on my shoulder. I stroke her hair with my hand to calm down, breathing in and out deeply before beginning. "_Love me now and love me well, it's your love I crave to know...Before I stand here buried in this unforgiving_ snow..." I start to feel more sure of my words, since these words truly do attest to how I feel about Maura._ "Love me good oh love me please, but I'm pleased to know you at all. Pull me out before I'm gone, and please don't let me fall." _I cough softly, finally getting over my nervousness to where my voice doesn't shake as much and sounds more certain. I continue on. "_Fall asleep, but not for long, your dreams are in your hands. Handle them gracefully, but don't let them sift like sand._  
_Sing of love and sing of none, but remember when you are through, I'll be here to sing along...and my heart will be with __**you.**__"_ My emphasis on 'you' makes Maura turn and look up into my eyes before settling back against me with her eyes now closed. "_Moments are fleeting, each end is a greeting, to what lies ahead, so get up from your bed. Keep your eyes off the clock...time's spent better with them locked in mine...Oh I tell you it's true...every second is a treasure with you." _I kiss the top of her head gently before finishing out the song in a lower, more loving tone. "_Winds are mean and time is too; I can see them in my face. But winds have timely brought us close, like pearls sewn into lace. He has great plans in mind for us for welfare, not for woe. Plans to give us futures full of goodness...full of hope._"

A few minutes pass in utter silence, and at first I assume Maura is asleep. I reach over to turn off the lamp, but her raising hand stops me. She sits up again, tears in her eyes as she presses her lips to mine with ferocity. She knots her hands in my hair, straddling my lap and kissing my lips, cheeks, and neck lovingly. I feel her showering me with her adoration and devotion, so I let her take the role of dominance. I also feel that this entire day has been straining on her...and that she has constantly been seeking something to persuade her of my undying love for her, along with the love of everyone else that she is somehow still blind to. Once we have kissed until we are panting, she slides off of my lap and lays back down beside me, facing me this time and cuddling as close to me as she possibly can.

"You're amazing, darling...Thank you."

"Anything for you. I love you."

"I love you too..." Peaceful sleep ensues as we drift off in each other's arms.


	8. Chapter 8

In the morning, Jane and I are called to a crime scene right after we finish breakfast, and that causes Jane to get rather irritated. She dresses in a black flak jacket and matching pants with a white v-neck underneath. I, on the other hand, put on my favorite pair of wedges that have chevron along the sides, colors alternating between teal, olive green, light pink, and the majority being white. I also have on black skinny jeans, a patterned shirt containing all the colors of the heels, and a white over shirt that I leave hanging open with a black belt around my torso. Jane compliments my "God-given beauty," as she calls it, kissing my lips lovingly before messing with my freshly curled hair. I can tell she put on her boots with the higher heel; her pride cannot stand it when I'm taller than her.

When we arrive at the scene, I wait until the last possible moment before I realize I'm going to have to release her hand. I do so sheepishly, hoping that no one else saw it. That wouldn't be the proper way to announce our new relationship to the majority of Jane's colleagues. I wouldn't do that to her.

"The body's behind the house in the garden, ." I thank the crime-tech assistant for coming in so early before heading over to the described area. Jane is whisked off to look for the murder weapon in an alleyway connecting to the street we came in on. When I reach the body, I kneel down with my medical bag to begin my usual examination done at the crime scene. I look at the stabbing wounds scattered all over the torso and briefly catch a glimpse of the victim's face. I gasp, standing up as my breath is taken away. I back up, unable to process what I had just seen. _Surely I'm just imagining things..._

"Maur! Hey, Maura! We have something you need to-" Jane stops, looking at the expression on my face and how my hand is over my mouth in astonishment. I simply stare at the victim lying at my feet. Her voice becomes more personal and quiet as she walks over, putting her hands on my forearm out of concern. "Maur, baby...What's wrong?"

I raise my hand to briefly brush tears out from under my eyes that I hadn't realized were there. _After all this torture I've gone through in the past month...now my first day back starts with _**_this_**_._ "Jane...I know who the victim is...Amalthea Isles...She's my aunt." I run my hand through my hair shakily, not understanding what anyone could possibly have wanted with my beautiful, sweet aunt. Then it hits me, and just as I feared, it hits Jane too.

She states my exact thoughts, looking suddenly very defensive and protective. "Marino had to have done this...And he sure as hell wouldn't hesitate to kill you, either." I sob sadly as Jane gathers me into her arms. Over my shoulder, I can sense she is signalling patrol to bring a unit here, probably to get me because of the discovery that I'm not safe. _When have I ever been safe? _

"Jane, I can't just stay locked up in my house 24/7!" Now, standing around us are Korsak, Frost, and Frankie. We moved away from the body..._I just couldn't stand to look at her anymore._

"Maura, it isn't your decision to make! This is a direct threat on YOUR health and well being! We're required as police officers to keep you SAFE-"

"No, Jane, you FEEL like you're required because you love me. The worst thing that I could go through right now would be to stay safe at sound at home and just twiddle my thumbs while you all risk your lives to save mine! I'm going to work this case, and I don't care if you want police cars to tail me until the day I die, but I AM going to work this case! That's final!" I sound very harsh and snappy, but I know it's the only way to make Jane listen. _I need to find the bastard that did this to my aunt. _I look over at the crime-tech assistant. "The body is ready to be taken by the morgue van. Thank you." I stride away from them all, radiating anger and also a really thick layer of fear, though I don't let that show. I open the door to get into my car, and in that process I catch a glimpse of Jane's forlorn face. She looks like a sad puppy who just got kicked in the face. My heart goes out to her, but I know that I cannot cave now if I want to have a part in this case. I slam the door and drive to the precinct to perform the autopsy. I check my mirrors multiple times, buried beneath the dreadful thought that someone is coming for me. _And coming soon._

"God, she's so upset." I shake my head in disbelief as I drum my fingers on the steering wheel of Frost's car. Even though I had to bum a ride with him since Maura left, I still am not in any way going to let another person drive.

"Jane, you have to remember how strong she is. She's just mad because, well, A. Her aunt was murdered and she's probably scared out of her wits, to tell you the truth. And B. you basically forgot everything that she has went through in the past month and belittled her. She's not incapable. She's strong, Jane." Frost replies with what seems to be years of wisdom. I grip the steering wheel tighter.

"Frost, she cannot risk her life just for this case. That's insane."

He pauses for a moment, coming back with a powerful response. "Or is it, Jane? Isn't that what we do everyday? Isn't that what you're doing right now? You're asking her to be the weak one."

"Frost, that's NOT what I meant at all. It's MY JOB to protect her!" I yell this at him, accidentally. He takes a moment before responding, trying not to yell back at me because he senses my anger is not towards him in the slightest.

"You have to let her deal with her grief the way she knows how to. She'll come around, Jane, and you can still protect her, just don't make her feel inadequate to you. That's probably the last thing she needs right now."

I sigh deeply, knowing he's right. "I guess I'll give her space, if that's what she wants." We pull into the precinct and head up to the bullpen, looking for any leads that we could possibly find. I send Korsak down to observe the autopsy, for Maura's sake.

After changing in my scrubs, I take a moment to get into my autopsy-mindset before heading into the morgue. _It's just a victim...You still have to speak for her._ I continue my deep-breathing as I walk over to the body, getting out my surgical tools to begin the y-incision. By instinct, I stick to examining the outside of the body until one of the detectives comes, but given my outbreak at the scene, I doubt that anyone will show up.

To my surprise, a few moments later Vince walks in. _I must have really upset Jane for her not to come..._"Hey Doc, you ready to start?" He's eating potato chips as he walks over, totally ignoring the gruesome aspect of an autopsy that most fear.

"Yes I am, Sergeant. I just wish you would make healthier food choices. You know that those are bad for your cholesterol." Though this is a normal response for me as I begin to cut open the chest cavity, I cannot help but sound off my game...One reason being that I am performing an autopsy on one of my dearest family members, and the other being that I have officially pissed off one of the people who matters most to me.

Just as I feared, Korsak senses this. I was never really good at masking my emotions. "Doc, I'm sorry that your day has sucked. I really think you should bring in Dr. Pyke for this autopsy, but since it isn't my place and I know you won't anyways, I won't push."

"Thank you, Sergeant...I'm sorry for snapping earlier at you all..." I look up briefly at him to show my sincerity before getting back to the task at hand. If I get distracted, I know that I won't be able to desensitize.

"Hey, it's fine. We understand..." He pauses for a moment, as if considering his response carefully. "Jane understands, too. She's just very protective...It's again not my place to say this, but she truly cares about you. She isn't meaning to make you sound inferior, it would just kill her if anything happened to you...Heck, I would be even more worried if she wasn't so defensive. That's just Jane." He takes another handful of chips and eats them, totally oblivious to the fact that I've begun handling the internal organs of a human.

"Thank you, Sergeant..." I meet his gaze again, truly grateful for what he's saying. It makes me feel better, but I still wish that I could approach Jane and talk about it. _That's just not who I am, though._ I sigh, going back to work to finish this autopsy. My driving force is still to find the killer who has now become the focus of all of my hatred and the source of all of my fear.

"Autopsy results are in: has found a sample of DNA that she is being ran through the system for any hits. She also determined the murder weapon to be a knife that has a hilt with a serrated edge." Korsak walks across the bullpen, handing me the file before going over to his desk to grab his keys.

"Woah, where are you going?!" I stand to my feet, walking over.

" informed me that her aunt had a boyfriend that she was living with. I'm feeling that we should go interview him."

"Alright, I'll get my coat." I try to ignore the urge that I should go to the basement and be with Maura since I know she's hurting, but it is still paining me as I step out of the precinct and head to the victim's house.

"One Caesar salad with dressing on the side for the most beautiful Chief M.E. that has ever existed." Angela deposits my order on the place mat in front of me, along with a diet Green Tea.

"You're too kind, Angela. Thank you." I sadly begin to eat, though I try not to radiate it to her.

She places her hand comfortingly on my shoulder, rubbing up and down gently. Her voice is uncharacteristically small when she speaks. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Is there anything that I can do?" I shake my head no, looking down to hide the tears that resurface from this morning. _I am so pathetic._ "Oh honey..." Also uncharacteristically, I let her pull me into a loving embrace and place a kiss on the top of my head. I even hug her back, longing for some comfort that Jane would normally give me. "It's alright, honey. It's alright."

"No it's not!" I sigh sadly. "I lost my aunt and my girlfriend in one day."

"What?! What makes you think that you've lost Janie? I swear, she's incredibly loyal...Especially to you. She's probably even more faithful to you than she is to me...She loves you, dear."

I blow my nose before looking into her eyes to show how wrong she is. "You didn't see the look she gave me after I yelled at her...I was so rude, and sh-she was just trying to help." I sob louder than I expect, and I'm sure it causes people to look my way. Luckily, they all know what happened this morning, so they don't question my broken shape

"Maura...I promise you, Janie understands. She's dealt with those who are grieving before...Heck, I'm sure you were easier to deal with than I was whenever I found out Frank was having an affair..." She strokes my cheek. "It'll be okay. You just gotta have faith. Jane said she _is in love with you._ True love cannot be reversed that easily, believe me."

I wipe my eyes, feeling somewhat better from Angela's words of wisdom. "Thank you, Angela...Do you think I need to go see her or wait for her to come see me?"

She rubs my back and gives me another short squeeze. "Well, right now she's probably fueled by the rage for whoever did what they did to try and hurt you. I say let this case get solved, _then_ she will come to you, I promise. She's not going to let you get away that easily.." She kisses my forehead before going to serve her other customers. I finish my food before heading down to the crime lab, hoping that this case gets solved very soon.

"Hello . We're so sorry for your loss. May we come in?" I try to mask my hurting soul to speak with Amalthea's boyfriend. I don't want to add fuel to the fire.

"Actually, I was about to go outside and tend to the garden. Feel free to follow." The boyfriend closes the door behind him, walking past us and out behind the house. I look at Korsak, and he senses my confusion. _Oddly unbothered for someone who just lost their significant other. _Nevertheless, we follow him.

"Sir, what can you tell us about your girlfriend? Had she been any different for the last few weeks?" Korsak is the one to conduct this interview. I walk around to the other side of the house, honestly just looking around to not be focusing on the man. I still process the questions and answers that I hear, but they seem fuzzy to me. I look through the trash cans set up beside the house and the flowerbeds. Some of the flowers look familiar to me. _Oh, that's Lily of the Valley. Maura always talks about how that's her favorite flower and the flower of her birth month._ My heart drops when I think of Maura. I replay in my mind how she yelled at me this morning and how she left the crime scene so upset. _She's probably done with me completely, now. I didn't mean to make her sound incapable. _I realize there's nothing I would give more than to simply be held by her right now. _Maura..._I pull out my phone, unable to take it anymore as I open up a new text message and select her number.

Suddenly, my phone is thrown to the ground and I'm knocked down from behind. _What the hell?!_ I turn over, punching and thrashing at a body that is holding me down, a hand over my mouth. I cry out, kicking the man off of me briefly. I catch a glimpse of a gun. All the hairs on my body stand up. I scream loudly, not knowing what else to do as I stand and take a swing at the man. "_KORSAK!"_

The man knees me harshly in the stomach, bringing his elbow down on my shoulder blade after I hunch over. I cry out, attempting to punch him once more, but he clearly has special training. He roundhouse kicks the side of my head, sending me into the rose bush. I cannot count how many times the tip of his steel-toed boot comes into my side. I curl into the fetal position, trying to block out the pain as I close my eyes. I pass out.

In the Forensics lab, we are running every test known to possible on my aunt. _There's got to be something here._

" , nothing turned up in the wider panel test." Susie informs me of this while I'm searching through the toxin text.

I sigh, running my hand through my hair. "Alright. Thank you, Senior Criminalist Chang." I stand up, going through the lab door and heading to my office, wishing more than anything to be away from the stress of this seemingly-unsolvable case. Just then, Frost comes running out of the elevator with a look of panic on his face. He sees me, running over immediately.

" ! Come quick, you need to ride with me to the hospital." He is out of breath, gripping my forearm to bring me along.

"What?! What happened?" I immediately feel nauseous, cringing as I ask.

"It's Jane. She was attacked. Now come on, we have to GO!"


	9. Chapter 9

Catastrophizing is an understatement for what I did the entire ride to the hospital. _Did she shoot herself again? Did she survive? What am I going to do without her? What if she dies hating me?_ Frost supports basically all of my weight with a firm arm around my waist, and I cling to his shoulder. _What is wrong with me? Jane's hurt, not me. _Still, I cannot seem to calm down. Lucky for me, he's strong enough to basically carry me into the Emergency Room, where we meet Korsak.

"How's she holding up?" Frost asks Korsak the question because I'm clinging to his arm fully now, my head buried into his shoulder with silent tears streaming my face.

I can feel Korsak's concerned look resting on my back, but I don't care. A wave of faintness washes over me as Korsak fills in Frost about Jane. "_Surgery...trauma...attack...waiting...bad...We didn't know how to tell Angela." _I hold onto Frost still but turn my head around to look at Korsak. His gaze toward me is full of sympathy, and I look down uncomfortably. _I don't deserve his sympathy. _

Korsak reaches to squeeze my arm reassuringly, noticing how I looked away. "Everything's going to be okay, . Can I do anything for you?"

I shake my head, looking at him briefly as I speak. "I-I just need to see her." I feel incredibly nauseous, moving one of my arms off of Frost's shoulder to clutch my stomach.

"I understand. We're just waiting for the doctor now." They lead me over to the nearest seat, and I thank them with a small whisper before sliding down into 's a pillow in the seat next to me, and I hold my arms around it tightly. I just need to _hold_ something. Korsak sits down beside me, wrapping his arm around me and letting me lay my head on his shoulder.

"Everything's all right, Maura. You need to get some rest. I'll wake you up if we hear anything."

"Thanks, Korsak..." I close my eyes, trying to put my restless mind to sleep.

"Has she been asleep for long, Vince?" I hear a delicate voice that stirs me awake that I recognize to be Angela's, but I keep my eyes closed and listen on.

"Just a few hours...So Jane's out of surgery?" Korsak asks quietly.

Angela sighs, and she reaches for my hand to hold it, stroking my fingers gently. "Yes, the doctors said we could see her now...I've already been to see her, but Maura's actually listed as the next of kin...I think she should go in next." _She won't want to see me. _Angela squeezes my hand, speaking to me now in a loving tone. "Sweetie, it's time to wake up...Jane is out of surgery."

I open my eyes slowly, sitting up and pulling my hand back from Angela's. "Oh..."

"You need to go see Jane, sweetheart. I'll walk you there." She stands up, pulling me up by my hand.

I again pull my hand back, not intentionally. "Ah-I think I'm just going to go home, now that I know she's alright." I pull my coat back onto my shoulders that I had taken off before my nap and grab my purse, avoiding eye contact with Angela or Korsak.

"Wait a second-WAIT!" Angela grabs my forearm sternly, freezing me in my tracks. I look into her eyes, shell-shocked as she continues in an appalled manner. "You've stayed here _all this time_, and you're leaving my baby alone _right now_ when she _NEEDS_ you?"

"Angela-Jane is still incredibly mad at me. As long as I know she's okay, that's all that matters. My well-being doesn't matter-"

She interrupts me. "Have you even considered that Jane's well-being depends on whether you stay or not? I know the case hasn't been solved, but now is the time to mend the relationship that you're convinced is broken. This is your best chance. Now, _go!_" I sadly look back at Korsak, and his expression shows that he agrees with Angela. I give my purse back, nodding solemnly without speaking and going with Angela to Jane's room.

"This is the right thing to do, Maura. Jane loves you...Don't forget that." I nod, thanking her before pushing open the door to Jane's room and walking in slowly.

I step up to the side of her bed as quietly as I can in my stilettos, but the sound still causes Jane to stir. I look over her body; she has severe contusions down her arms that are stitched up, along with the bulk of bandages around her abdomen. _From the blunt force trauma._ She continues to stir until her eyes open and she looks my way. She clears her throat before speaking in a barely-audible whisper. "There's my girl..." She smiles, blinking lazily a few more times before her eyes fully open. All the while, she never stops looking adoringly into my eyes.

I look down at my shoes, feeling incredibly insecure. "I-I didn't think that you'd want me to visit...Angela made me come."

"Why wouldn't I want you to visit me? Maura..." She reaches for my hand, beckoning me closer to her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I just...I feel guilty for yelling at you like I did...You were just trying to help me." Tears well in my eyes, and my voice sounds incredibly weak.

"Maura, I was in the wrong. I was the asshole who acted like you couldn't take care of yourself...I just cannot stand the thought of something happening to you..." Her eyes glisten as she looks up at me. "Please, sweetheart...It's been hell being away from you."

My face crumples up as I speak again with the final culmination of my fears from today, the tears finally flow as I sob once, twice, and multiple times. "I'm so scared, Jane." Jane immediately reacts, sitting up, even though she really shouldn't, and pulling me into a hug, my head buried into her neck as she strokes the back of my head. "Whoever killed my aunt is out there for me...and then they attacked the only person who cares about me." I sob again, and I feel her lips press to my temple and my cheek.

"Maura, I am not the only person who cares for you...There's Ma, Frost, Korsak...all of us...And I know that you are able to take care of yourself...I admire how strong you are, how strong you've always been. I just want you to know that I _want_ to protect you...I know it's going to be hard for us to go from being so independent to being together, but I know that it's a change that I so need to make. I need you."

"Jane...You've _always_ had me." I stop sobbing in order to press a life-changing kiss to Jane's lips. She responds with running a hand through my hair and pushing me more into her, deepening our kiss even more.

We pull back to where we are forehead to forehead, her arms still around me. Our moment is only interrupted when we hear a loud gasp behind us. We turn and look to see Angela, standing there with tears streaming her face and her hands clasped over her mouth.

"Ugh, MA! Can't you ever knock?! How long have you been standing there?" I stand back up, though Jane keeps a tight grip on my hand, refusing to let me go.

"Ahh, there's the Jane I know and love..." Angela walks over, throwing her arms around Jane's neck and then my own. "I knew you two would work it out. You always do."

"Ma, is this any of your business?" Jane is her normal, snappy self, but her facial expression shows it is out of love, not contempt. Angela sighs, excusing herself back out and leaving us alone again. I turn back to look at Jane, realizing that it is almost 10 o clock.

"I should let you get some rest..." Jane's face falls, her looking incredibly unhappy. "But I have a question first."

She looks intrigued. "And what would that be, darling?" She runs her fingertips over my palm and then squeezes my hand gently.

I take a deep breath. "So...I'm listed as your next-of-kin?"

"Yes...I figured if anything happened...I'd need you by my side." I realize that she's hinting at me trying to leave her earlier and again now.

I lean forward, kissing Jane's forehead reassuringly. "I'll need to change my next-of-kin as well...I'm going to go home to shower and grab your things, and then I'll come back to spend the night here with you and take you home in the morning. Alright?" Jane nods meekly. I know she feels out of her element in not wanting to be alone, but I want to do my best to protect and support her now...I know just how much she needs me. I kiss her softly before leaving, knowing full well that I am going to rush back.


End file.
